Until recently, as in the last few years, I've really tried to work on a real failing I had or maybe still have. I remember when I used to sneak to the pub to have a few beers, or I'd be sneaking cans of beer and drinking them in the outhouse or having a crafty ciggy out the back garden. I'm not talking about the actual act of those things that were a failing(of course they were) but moreover the story I was telling myself. In my head I'd be thinking 'well if she let me go out, then I wouldn't have to sneak about' or 'I don't know why she has a problem with me drinking'. Because I didn't see that drinking cans of strongbow in an outside shed in the middle of the week was a problem.
I had someone to blame. Her, the missus, her indoors, the dragon, all those things tough guy manly men say to each other over there 4th or 5th pint while their wives are sorting the kids out and making the tea and cleaning the whole house and all the stuff women 'should' do.
Blaming other people is a get out for anybody. Why did your missus leave you? Because she's an evil bitch.
Why have you not been promoted yet? Because the boss is an arsehole and he doesn't like me.
Your wife left you because you stopped doing the things that brought you close in the first place, spending time together, talking things over, saying the things you used to say... being nice.
Your boss won't promote you because you moan constantly, you are a negative influence on others and you don't go that extra mile.
Once you stop making excuses and blaming others, only then things can change. And you will see how people change towards you.
Take a long hard look in the mirror, go deep in to your thoughts and feelings. You might not like what you see, it may not be so easy, but work on your self awareness, stop making excuses and blaming people and grow into a more rewarding and joyful life.
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